At all.
Not even that stupid argument.
Everything’s just going through the motions.
It’d be zen if it wasn’t wrong.
Whatever.
At least it’s better than being angry and depressed.
is staying busy
it would seem.
As soon as I have an objective,
everything gets better immediately.
Dinner with ‘Tasha-darling~
Absolutely fantastic Cuban cuisine. :D
4If you haven’t done something to me directly, I don’t care.
I have no beef with you.
If you fuck with me directly, I will deal with it accordingly.
Anyone else’s quarrels are between the people it directly concerns.
1 Got hit by a random wave of sad.
well that’s cool.
not like I need to be productive or anything.
ughhhh.
1 To say the process of writing this paper has been a long and arduous one would, in fact, be something of an understatement; after all, I began this process not at the beginning of this semester as most of my peers did, but rather in August of last year. The most challenging portion of writing this paper, I will freely admit, has been the task of motivating myself to prioritize it at all, much less above and beyond my other much more challenging and time consuming classes. I have had many short-stops and pit-falls in the process, having started over not once, not twice, but three times before I found a path I would be comfortable and interested in pursuing in depth over the course of several months—and in fact, in the process of doing so, I actually discovered a few things about myself, my motivations, my art, and my interests, much to my own surprise.
1 Okay.
Okay.
I’m going to stop fucking around, I’m going to stop napping, I’m going to get this damn paper written.
At least 8 pages tonight.
Yes.
This is a goal, it’s going to happen.
If I get 5 pages written before 12am, I can watch an episode of something online.
Yes.
1 I’m doing my best.
But as always, my best isn’t good enough for you.
You want more. And I don’t think I can give any more.
I have been trying so hard, and this is all I’ve been able to give,
what makes you think some extra incentive is going to make me pull some magical extra betterness out of thin air?
I’m sorry I’m not good enough. But I’ve been trying, and this is the best I’ve been able to come up with, and I’m barely keeping my head above water,
and you still want more.
I’d be so much easier to simply check out.
Not like I’m going to amount to anything, anyway.
2 